Feb 222014
 
Wave ripples on Southport Beach at low tide.

Ricoh GR. ©Calvin Palmer 2014. All Rights Reserved.

I am still coming to terms with being the victim of a gray divorce. To borrow from The Ballad of John and Yoko:

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be.

Very hard!

I find myself listening to a lot of Blues these days – Buddy Guy and BB King mostly – and the lyrics are often like barbs striking into my  being. I take some comfort from what has happened to me has also happened to countless others before and countless more to come.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be.

My emotional pain is compounded by trying to find a job to secure my future. I fire off application after application but never hear back.  I even get the silent treatment for survival jobs. It would seem I am too old to resume a career and overqualified for jobs just to get by.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be.

With no family, all alone in the world and struggling to find a job, my thoughts often turn to the empty and unfulfilled life that in all probability lies ahead. It is no fun being cut adrift at my time of life.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be.

A couple of days ago, a sweet girl from the Midwest commented on a photograph on one of my other websites. When anyone pays me the courtesy of commenting, I always check out their blogs.  This twenty-something had posted a blog featuring a graphic that stated:

If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.

That got me thinking. Having no family ties does give me a huge advantage. I am not, in theory, tied to one particular place and could live anywhere in the world – in theory! The stumbling block is accommodation, my modest and limited funds and no guarantee of an income.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be.

The place where I really want to be is back in the United States. The past 13 years living in Texas and Florida have left their mark. I may be British but I am no longer part of the British scene. America is my home. I have become Americanized and miss so many features of American life, the friendliness of American people is perhaps the greatest one. I still have my US Permanent Resident status.

I got to thinking some more.  What if I were to trade my labor for accommodation, a roof over my head? A great many US professional photographers could probably make use of an assistant but would be hard pressed to pay a wage. I would be happy to work for free — loading gear; setting up studio lighting and props; doing the grunt work of image editing in Photoshop; uploading images to websites; proofreading and managing website content. All I ask in return is decent accommodation. I will even help with chores around the house.

I just need some breathing space to get back on my feet, find my direction and start to feel good again about the future.

Anyone who may be able to help can check me out at http://www.linkedin.com/in/calvinpalmer and get in touch at info@calvinpalmerphotos.com.

I openly admit to feeling kind of lost and would be grateful for any advice. I am running on empty at the moment. Sing me back home.

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